Sexy Food

When I get that feeling...

Valentine’s Day leaves me cold.  I think it’s a Hallmark holiday and the only people that really get lucky are the greeting card companies and the florists.  I did make the effort and “do” Valentine’s Day once, many years ago.  I went down to Colombian Emeralds, picked out a lovely garnet necklace and badgered Bones into buying it for me.  I may even have bought myself some flowers.  So romantic.  Audrey shredded the necklace when she was a few months old.

I insisted we go out to dinner with a group of friends…at a newly opened restaurant, never a good idea.  A new restaurant needs to be open a while to get in the groove and run smoothly.  So a grand opening on Valentine’s Day, one of the busiest restaurant days of the year, is not perhaps the most sensible of ideas.  This restaurant, now defunct, was definitely not yet in the groove.  By the time they managed to produce dinner, about three hours after we sat down, we were all rip-roaring drunk (to put it mildly) and it was much too late for food.  Not romantic.

But I do love food and, yes, I think it’s sexy.  So I thought I’d share a few ideas for aphrodisiacs (some Caribbean, some not) and some generally sexy food and drink.  The Caribbean is big on aphrodisiac beverages, said to be “good for de wood.”  I’ve already written about bois bandé and sea moss here.  And there’s mamajuana, an aphrodisiac liqueur popular in the Dominican Republic.

A new one to me (and my new favorite word) is peenie wallie.  Yes, you read that right – peenie wallie.  It’s a creamy peanut liqueur that gets its name from the Jamaican for that little bug with the fire in its belly, the firefly.  I don’t know why the firefly is called the peenie wallie but etymologists may wish to delve further.  In the interest of thorough research, I was going to try peenie wallie.  But I just couldn’t make myself go down to the local shop and ask where they keep the peenie wallie.  Even just writing it, I can’t keep a straight face.  Though I have been saying ”peenie wallie” to myself all morning and thinking of ways I can work it into polite conversation.  Very immature of me, I know. 

Sex on the half shell

As for more substantial foods of love, conch is always a good choice.  I think seafood in general is much more sexy than meat.  But there are many who disagree.  Two of the most popular Caribbean aphrodisiacs, mannish water and bull cod soup, are most decidedly meaty.  Mannish water is goat soup, a Jamaican speciality.  It’s often made with the goat’s head and is said by those in the know to be best made with ram goat meat.  Cow cod soup is made with bull cod.  In case you didn’t know (I didn’t), a bull’s cod is located where he would wear his codpiece, if he wore one.

If I had to plan a meal for lovers, it would have to start with oysters, preferably raw.  There’s nothing sexier than a few dozen on the half shell and a chilled bottle of Sancerre.  Oysters Rockefeller are kinda hot too.  Then a pasta because pasta is often, though not always, sexy.  Spaghetti carbonara, sexy.  Baked ziti, not sexy.  A bowl of homemade noodles dressed with a little butter and a few shavings of truffle is off the charts, Sophia Loren sexy.

After oysters and pasta, I’d skip the main course and go straight for dessert.  Unlike a lot of women, I don’t find chocolate especially sexy, unless it’s melted.  Melted chocolate is sexy.   And so is chocolate mousse, come to think of it.  But I think I would have to end my ideal Valentine’s Day eating orgy with a wedge of good aged pecorino, a drizzle of honey and a glass of vin santo.

I’m getting all excited now so I’d better stop, especially since oysters, truffles and pecorino are usually not to be found on Tortola.  Anyway, happy Valentine’s Day in advance.  Peenie wallie.

Feed me this and I'm yours.

Tagged as: aphrodisiac, Caribbean, holidays, mannish water, valentines day